This is long, but well worth the read:

mayerfan80: welcome back cumber
Tarzie: elle, you bitch
mayerfan80: hahahahah
Tarzie: you left me all alone with andrew
mayerfan80: you fucking cunt
Tarzie: and he tried some shady business
mayerfan80: hahahahahahah
mayerfan80: i touched her e-tit
Tarzie: i had to slap his e-hand away like 10 times
CcmbrSndwch: Oh man
CcmbrSndwch: I'm like the best friend in a Lifetime movie starring Kelly Martin
mayerfan80: she brought it on herself
mayerfan80: are you good at math?
CcmbrSndwch: I leave to go get some morepunch and you're assaulted in Tad Shankin's jeep
mayerfan80: she asked for it
CcmbrSndwch: Look, just because she was cold and accepted your lettermans jacket
mayerfan80: those e-panties were showing
CcmbrSndwch: doesn't mean you have hte right to touch her e-boob
mayerfan80: why are you taking up for her?
mayerfan80: you weren't there
mayerfan80: you know i wouldn't do something unless she wanted it
CcmbrSndwch: Look, she's my best friend!
CcmbrSndwch: We're locker partners!
CcmbrSndwch: And besides, Tad, everyone knows what kind of guy you are!
mayerfan80: i just thought that since you and i used to go together you would trust me
mayerfan80: but i guess not
mayerfan80: Tina
CcmbrSndwch: I thought you were different
CcmbrSndwch: But that night up at the point, that's when I realized what kind of guy...no, not guy...what kind of monster you were, Tad!
mayerfan80: remember that night at the Pizza Palace, though? you said you wanted it too, just like e-tit here did
CcmbrSndwch: I had four Mt. Dews in me! I wasn't myself!
mayerfan80: yeah, the point after pizza palace
mayerfan80: hahaha
mayerfan80: whateva
mayerfan80: you know me
mayerfan80: you know me
CcmbrSndwch: I don't know you! I never knew you!
mayerfan80: you know the real me
CcmbrSndwch: Tad, you're like...you're like a nightmare!
mayerfan80: inside
mayerfan80: hahahahahaahahahahahahaha
mayerfan80: tara's freaked out
CcmbrSndwch: No I don't! The real Tad Shankin loved horses and apple cider on cold autumn nights! The real Tad Shankin was a nice guy! And you're just a monster!
Tarzie: can't....breathe
Tarzie: laughing....so...hard
CcmbrSndwch: Now her fucking asthma is acting up!
CcmbrSndwch: Way to go Tad!
mayerfan80: i promise things will change for us, er, i mean, for marcia and me... when i go off to State, i'll get serious
mayerfan80: football will make me focus
CcmbrSndwch: Right, just like you said wresteling would make you focused?
mayerfan80: you know that was different
CcmbrSndwch: Whatever Tad. Chicks and sports, thats all you care about! And you think both deserve rough treatment!
mayerfan80: when my knee got busted, i had time to think
CcmbrSndwch: Just because your dad is the coach, you think you're big man on campus!
mayerfan80: and i thought about us... and the moon and stuff
Tarzie: um...do you guys have some movie memorized or is this all just improv?
CcmbrSndwch: You thought about yourself, Tad! And those freshman girls!
CcmbrSndwch: Shawna McDaniel said you were all over her younger sister, Tess, at the Moonlight Ball!
mayerfan80: this has gone on long enough... i think it's time for me to take my car to candlelight ridge and drive into the ocean
CcmbrSndwch: Tara, this is totally the plot of every lifetime movie ever
Tarzie: oh i know!
Tarzie: but i'm so impressed
CcmbrSndwch: You do it! And then we'll find your lettermans jacket on the rocks
CcmbrSndwch: and hold a memorial service for it
mayerfan80: you'll be sorry then
CcmbrSndwch: No
mayerfan80: yes you will
CcmbrSndwch: I'll cry one tear and then go off with my college boyfriend
CcmbrSndwch: who is the star quarterback
mayerfan80: he's impotent
mayerfan80: and has a kid
CcmbrSndwch: But I don't know that yet
mayerfan80: oh
CcmbrSndwch: I don't find that out until the sequel
mayerfan80: oh
mayerfan80: oh, then he's a pilot
mayerfan80: and has wives in every city
CcmbrSndwch: Yep
mayerfan80: and a gay lover


~Tara
CcmbrSndwch: T's for Tainted/A's for Angel/R's for Regal/A's for Ah hold up, hell no!/She's Tara L, straight out of hell/She'll burn you, cut you, and then charge you/motherfuckers, learn to talk well/assholes, learn to walk well/ Tara accepts nothing less then a good sell/You'd better impress her, or she'll mess you up/You'd better defend her or she'll kick you in the gut