anyway- what are your favorite/ funniest john mayer quotes?? we all know he says some pretty interesting things...
here's one: "Yeah, I'm real deep when I'm not busy masturbating or setting off fireworks."
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
Your favorite john quotes!! |
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Ok, i searched to make sure this topic hasn't been used before, so im really sorry if i missed something.
anyway- what are your favorite/ funniest john mayer quotes?? we all know he says some pretty interesting things... here's one: "Yeah, I'm real deep when I'm not busy masturbating or setting off fireworks." |
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BadLittleAngel76 |
Re: Your favorite john quotes!! | ||
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I don't remember shit he says.
Drinking, Nan "you will appeal to a small, select group of confused people." -- message in fortune cookie
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Jesscc316 |
I'd like that | ||
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My favorite John quote definitely is the "I'd like that" rambling in AGT. I sat down and typed it up one time - it's quite long. I hope I don't get chewed out for posting the whole thing, but here it is:
"When you first meet somebody, you find out they like you first of all. A friend of a friend of theirs says he or she really really likes you and it floors you, kills you, sends you to the ground. You gotta pick yourself up off the ground and then you get their phone number and you call them up right and you say Yeah that was a great phone conversation, can I see you sometime? And then they say this, they say, Id like that And Id like that makes you fall on the floor again. Your heart is about to stop because of Id like that. Nothing feels better than Id like that. So now, your blood pressures goin. Youre six feet off the ground. You cant sleep because of Id like that. So then you hang out for a while and you call and you talk on the phone all the time and then you drop the bomb or what feels like the bomb. You say, You know what? Ive been thinkin about you a lot. And see goes Haaaaugh! And you go What happened? and she goes Im sorry. I just. I just. I just. Thats Ive been thinking about you too. BAM! Higher into the sky. But now, Id like that? Done! Now youre up to Im thinking about you. Then, however number of months pass, it makes you feel comfortable saying it, you say I gotta tell you something. They go What? You go, Im in love with you. And nothing in the world sounds better than Im in love with you. And then maybe she starts crying or maybe he goes Huuugh! And then all of a sudden youre like, Im in. But now, what doesnt work? Id like that and Ive been thinkin about you. Now were at Im in love with you. Then maybe someday we move up to I love you. Fastforward, now youre like I love you a lot. I love you more than anything in life. Now I love you doesnt work. Its a threshold. It keeps moving up. Fastforward like six months, six weeks, whatever the case may be. Now youre on like, I wanna marry you. I wanna impregnate you with my love. I wanna- I wanna just send my love to you. Damnit! Words dont work anymore! And then you say this line and you know-you know youve used this line before. I just wish theyd put a new word in the dictionary bigger than love, cuz love just doesnt decribe what I feel. And so then, now he or she starts asking Do you love me? And you start going, Of course I love you. Well say it! And then it becomes Say it twice and they go Say it three times. And then, you cross a really interesting point, where all of a sudden it becomes I hate you. I hate you. And you go Oh my God, she hates me. And now its I hate you more than anything! And then its like Were over! And theyre like No, were not! And you go Yes we are! And now the words completely do not work at all. Youre left with nothing. Youre throwing punches under water. Youre done! You know what the moral of this story is if there is one? Never ever, ever, ever underestimate the power of Id like that." Sorry, it would have been shorter to just include a few quotes, but it's just not the same. - Jess |
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
"id like that" | ||
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i remember that quote!! i love that one sooooo much and im so glad you posted it lol havent heard it in a while. but yea..thats a quality quote right there.
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TheOtherOneOverThere |
Re: I'd like that | ||
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"I don't have to do shit."
and this thread is silly - yo _____________________________________________________________
Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Music shouldn't come with disclaimers. Tampons for men should. JM 10/2/03 |
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BeaverCleaver77 |
Re: | ||
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I love that one too!...It's so funny how he gets into his little stories...but anyways...I got a few for ya...
"I've always said I've got the coolest fans, and I brag about you like grandchildren when I talk to other artists" "I don't mind making sissy rock... I'll rock your ass sensitive-style" "It's so great just rocking out on the guitar, but you're probably thinkin 'you're song is becoming way to long mister.'" "I want everyone to put their thumb and forefinger together and measure my head. If your fingers are actually touching, I want to thank you for coming." |
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
quote | ||
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"love is a hot shower where your skin never prunes"
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eacs1984 |
Re: quote | ||
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"There's this great tool that God gave us, and that's this little switch in your head that just goes mmmmmfuckit"
"High school is like a spork: its a crappy spoon AND a crappy fork, so in the end, its just plain useless." ~LiZz |
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
funnnny | ||
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"Before i sing this next song i'd like to discuss a very serious topic. i fucking LOVE porno!."
"Who needs prozac when you've got Arizona Iced Tea?" "I'm glad you can sit here with me and listen to my bullshit. Oh, I'm sorry to the parents out there for saying bullshit. But you know what? It's my fucking show." |
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TastyChocolateCurls |
Re: funnnny | ||
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"I don't have to do shit."
I remember when this first was posted on the board, it became everyone's slogan for about two weeks. Even now people use it, just very rarely. --Maritza
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Shari51185 |
quote | ||
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i like that one.
Shari |
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
i dont hafta do shit | ||
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what was john talking about when he said that?
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JMBrightEyes |
there are so many great ones... | ||
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i just want to apologize right now in advance for inevitably re-posting as i think of more and more quotes to add.
sorry, but they sort of come to me. "...and i hate using the word 'sensuality' 'cause you know, so many ugly people use that word." |
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
yeaaaa | ||
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yea im gonna be doing that too dont worry about it
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purplebear05 |
Re: yeaaaa | ||
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Aww someone took my all time favorite!!
Quote: and some others: "I'm gonna move to Salt Lake City and marry all of my fans." "So while I was waitin' in the back during the opening act, I was readin' some magazines and I did a couple of quizzes, and the results are in. First off, you'll all be glad to know that I am NOT a jealous girlfriend. And second, I am in fact a strong independent black woman." And the last one: "Quiet down so I can make love to you all." That's it..... *Kristen* |
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wissywacki |
Re: there are so many great ones... | ||
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[quote]"...and i hate using the word 'sensuality' 'cause you know, so many ugly people use that word."[/quote]
i've seen this other places. whats the context? ~alissa "Lionel Richie sang his classic "Hello" to me from the hi-fi, and I felt hot tears welling up. I wish a blind person would feel my face and make me a big clay head"
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BabyBlueTV |
Re: I'd like that | ||
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That's hilarious...I LOVE that ramble too. I sat down and typed it up word-for-word quite a while back also. Quality stuff.
From AGT, I also can't get enough of his description of "Something's Missing" and his little "Free Movie Weekend" ramble (see below). You ever have that thought that bums you out? You have a thought that bums you out, and youre bummed out by the thought, but the thought escapes you, so all youre left with is being bummed out, but you cant remember what it is that bummed you out in the first place, so you spend time going back in your mind trying to figure out why youre not looking forward to Tuesday, whatever Tuesday is. Youre like, Whats wrong with Tuesday? It hasnt even happened yet and Im already freaked out about it. Well, this song is kind of about going back in your head and making a list and checking it twice and making that was a holiday reference in the middle of summer. <claps> Let's hear it for me. So anyway, this is a song called Somethings Missing, cause sometimes it just is. and... Its very difficult to tie one shoe with the same tension as the other one, because if one should be a little tighter than the other, the shows gonna suck. Im a man of symmetry. This is a song about falling in love with the wrong person for all the right reasons. Its kind of about the bliss period in a relationship. Ya know, like that its like that first week in a relationship, the free movie weekend period. When you show all your best films, ya know? You meet em and you say stuff to em like, Oh Im a great listener, Im there for my friends, ya know, like you start tellin em all about yourself, and youre showin em like, Schindlers List and theyre showin you like ya know ya know, whatever. I dont watch movies anymore because theyre too hard to read. But, ya know, youre watchin youre showin each other your big movies, then all of a sudden somewhere along the line it becomes like, Weekend at Bernies 2 like, somewhere along the line it becomes Police Academy, or movies without Steve Gutenberg, and its a real shame. But this is about that bliss period in a relationship, and its about that bliss period taking place in New York City and how fun that must be. I also love: "Ladies, I respect the shit out of you for basically living your entire life with a camera on your person, but one shot is all you'll need to remember me by. No need to bracket for lighting and white balance." and... "Go broke for what you love; it's only money, only stuff." |
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ODB4LYFE |
worst thread ever | ||
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or at least bottom 5
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jesyka15 |
heres a few good, but kind of long ones | ||
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"This is what we like to call in a songwriting community of, well... one... a boomerang song because you write it, you send it out, you think you're done with it, then it comes back and hits you right over the eye and you bleed and it comes down your face... and it's gross. ANYWAY. I refer to this song all the time and I have to tell you that it's kind of become a little bit of diplomatic immunity for when I wanna say stupid shit. I can play it off like anyone else, but inside, I'm crying like a little bitch."
They asked him if it is true that he signs things "your body is a taco stand" He said that is true, he has never autographed anything "your body is a wonderland". "You wanna know why, you wanna know why, you wanna know why? Because John Mayer ain't no BITCH". freshman year, momma asked what do ya wanna do when you get outta here i said, "well gee, I'm only 13, but i think i'd like to play my guitar...be a star" she said, "well thats not an answer you've got time to go...good sense will kick in any time you know. I'm not worried, no I'm not worried." sophomore year she asked the same old thing, my answer had remained unchanged i saw her fidget with her thumbs she said, "you like computers, john. you like computers, don't you john? you know i always see you with a computer, you like computers. maybe you should do something with computers...yeah, wouldn't that be nice." junior year, it's a little more intense she says, "whaddya wanna do with your life?" I'm on the fence i don't know exactly what i am to be. i mean I'm only 17... she says, "well, all i ask is that you pay attention in class so if your happen to change your mind in time you can still go somewhere reputable....and do us proud." so i went downstairs, and i played guitar loud. senior year, same old questions, she said, "what to you wanna do?" i said, "play my guitar and sing..." she said, "there's no such thing...there's no such thing, yeah" |
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SomethingsMissing21939 |
whats with the trash talk? | ||
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umm why is this a bad thread? no reason? oh ok thats what i thought
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Jesscc316 |
Bare Ballin' It | ||
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"Theres a new sensation, sweeping all the nation and theyre calling it, bare ballin it, bare ballin it. Well now I seem to have forgotten, the cushy layer of cotton. And well all admit. Well all admit. Were bare ballin it. Theres nothing that you dont see. After my jeans its only just me. Call me the Fleshy Fernando. Im going commando! Im ballin it. Bare ballin it. Theres a new sensation, thats sweepin all the nation. And theyre calling it, theyre callin it, bare ballin it."
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